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We have met the enemy, and he is us.” Walt Kelley, 1951

I’d love to have more people be peaceful in their self-employment, especially in this era of self-employment by default, rather than by choice.

The biggest challenge most people face in starting or running a very small business is record keeping. Because of the uncertainty, it becomes an overwhelming task that inhibits focus on the skills that you are promoting in yourself.

A blogger whom I follow on LinkedIn has written a short, clear post on why you need a book keeper. As the new business cycle slowly comes around, take just a couple of minutes to read this and consider how you are doing your record keeping for your self-employed business.

I was listening to “World Have Your Say” from the BBC World Service back on Thursday, and they were carrying on about the Italian debt crisis – which of course followed immediately on the heels of the Greek debt crisis and I got to wondering – why is it that the taxpayers have to solve this problem?

Why is there a problem?

If the Italian government is unable to pay their bonded debt as it comes due, or is unable to make interest payments on the debt that is issued – sure, there’s a problem. But if the problem is that banks and “the markets” are trading the bonds at increasingly higher interest rates – why is THAT a problem for the Italian government?

How much attention is being paid to the “markets” trading – speculating – up the rates on these bonds? If private investors are disappointed because their opportunities to move money is diminished, why should the taxpayers care? If the big European banks are “in trouble” because of this speculation, why is that a taxpayer problem?

We have a truly screwed up way of looking at things when taxpayer money is required to guarantee the financial health of banks that make poor decisions.

Let’s think about AIG as an example – if banks (including investment banks) were entering into these credit default swaps, it was incumbent upon them for the stability of their institution and to protect their clients’ money that they engage in routine underwriting before making the contract.

Evidence will show, MUST show that each of these banks KNEW how much credit default business AIG was writing. Any reasonable person would have insisted on reviewing AIG’s asset depth before engaging in these agreements.

What has happened, though, is that these banks entered into what were “liar’s loans” in their own sphere – they KNEW that AIG couldn’t complete all of the counter-party agreements. They KNEW that their own institutions would suffer when and if AIG failed to pay up. And, yet – they wrote ENORMOUS business that was not supported by rational calculations just to have a very very short term personal profit.

And, now the taxpayers should pay up because they were gambling with money that wasn’t theirs?

Before any fund or bank invests in a country’s bonded debt, a reasonable credit review including that government’s ability to repay is required by their very charters and what few regulations still oversee their business.

There is so much that is rotten here, and so little being done about it save for to move these gambling debts onto taxpayer’s backs that it defies the understanding.

For many years now, I have observed that employers increasingly don’t respond at all to job submissions. Not unsolicited submissions, mind you, but in response to advertisements that the employers post seeking applicants. We’ve known for a great long time that Monster.com was an utter waste of resources and effort, but why is it that employers don’t communicate in any manner when you’ve submitted to an opening that you are qualified for – even when you have an inside reference.

I’m going to burn a bridge here – or, at least, some will suggest that’s what I’m doing. But, this is a drawbridge that’s already pulled up. From my chair, this is more of “the emperor has no clothes”.

I’ve taught LSAT preparation courses for twenty-four years. My success rate is very high, my classes uniformly give very high reviews and students from more than ten years ago stay in touch. I performed very well on the LSAT when I took it in 1980. Nothing should stand in the way of my credentials as an LSAT preparation instructor.

LSAT preparation being what it is, it’s a freelance gig that involves a lot more preparation time than is otherwise compensated for. On an adjusted dollar hourly basis, I’m earning the same rate of pay that I did when I was hired in February 1987 to start teaching. That, though, is a post for another time.

One is always looking for other opportunities to fill the free lance schedule, and for me, I am always scoping out opportunities to add to my assignment schedule. Thus, I have looked at the big commercial preparation companies, the biggest of which is Kaplan.

Kaplan is a unit of the Washington Post company. The largest unit. The most profitable unit. Test preparation isn’t their most profitable element – online college education is, paid for with student loans backed by your tax dollars. Kaplan is most interested in diverting or eliminating the new student loan restrictions that would most likely eliminate their entire collegiate business.

Kaplan has been advertising quite heavily for test preparation instructors – all across these United States. I have been presenting my credentials and interest in working for them for an equal period of time. Never once have I had the favor of a reply. No reply of any nature, other than the automated “we have received your information”.

A few days ago, I had seen yet another Kaplan ad for test prep instructors in my city. In case that link goes down, it was the same job I’ve applied to for more than a year – posted 22 October 2011. Just for grins, I had clicked through the LAST post Kaplan had a few weeks ago and had attempted to submit my credentials – the website told me that I had already applied.

On 19 October 2011, the Kaplan recruiter for Albany/Binghamton NY posted a conversation on a LinkedIn group:

Have you thought about teaching Graduate School Test Preparation?

Hi. I am the Faculty Manager for Kaplan Test Prep Graduate Division for Albany, Binghamton and Ithaca, NY. I am always looking for excellent teachers who have scored in the 90th+ percentile on their graduate school exams. Kaplan is the industry leader in graduate test preparation, we provide paid training and prep time, opportunities to teach and tutor, and even have a health insurance plan for part time faculty.

If you did well on your tests and you think you have what it takes to be excellent in the classroom, I want to hear from you. Email me at Howard.Leib@Kaplan.com.

Being who I am, I couldn’t help but reply with:

I have repeatedly applied for open Kaplan positions. I have 24 years experience teaching LSAT, and 10+ years teaching GRE. Never had a response to any of my inquiries.

Just sayin’.

Three more people (so far) have chimed in that they also had applied to Kaplan repeatedly without any reply.

Not being a total douchebag, I also had sent an email to Howie at his Kaplan email address provided in his LinkedIn post.

I appreciate that you’re looking for new talent for your prep program – I just don’t understand why the company doesn’t respond AT ALL to qualified applicants? I’ve applied for several positions in Houston and Chicago – would certainly be open to employment in Albany (my sister lives there). In fact, the website won’t LET me submit for positions in Houston, but the ads for those open positions run several times a week.

So – guess what happened? NOTHING. No reply of any kind either to my comment or my email.

What valid business purpose is served by posting for positions, collecting credentials and then not having the decency to say “thanks, but no thanks”?

I say that we should use resources such as Google+, LinkedIn and Facebook to keep each other apprised of companies that engage in this behavior. Trying to find support for one’s self is emotionally draining and exhausting in this environment – submitting for work that one is clearly qualified to do and never having any sort of reply is fodder for serious self-doubt and depressive feelings.

So, John Polstein – director of test preparation for Kaplan – what say you? Why is this an agreeable way to run a railroad for you?

Last week, one of my clients was asking my advice about pulling cash out of his home – which he owns free and clear – to sink into the company.

NO NO NO NO NO NO. NEVER liquidate or tie up your primary residence to put money into your business. Sell the toys, the vacation homes, take all of the relatives off of the company gravy train, but NEVER put your home in a position that could end up leaving you without a safe place to live.

Let’s review -

• NEVER borrow against your primary home to support the business
• NEVER run up your personal, consumer credit cards to support the business
• NEVER go without paying yourself a reasonable wage – DO NOT pay your personal bills from company accounts

If money is tight in the business, take these steps FIRST -

• Cut off the support for family and friends who don’t make substantial work effort in support of the business
• Sell the toys. No, really. The boat? Sell it. The expensive motorcycle you don’t ride? Sell it. If the toys have PAYMENTS, sell them FAST and for whatever will get rid of the debt.
• Sell the vacation properties and time shares.
• Cut back the personal spending

Once you’ve tightened your belt, here are the next things to NEVER, EVER do -

• Slow paying employees is bad – think “Dante’s Inferno 11th circle of Hell” bad
• Slow paying utilities, insurance, property taxes, withholding taxes and sales taxes is bad – “12th circle of Hell” bad
• Ignore demands for payment, especially if they can attach a lien or if a lawyer is (or is about to) suing you. Communication keeps you out of the Inferno.
• Break your word when you’ve given it – once you’ve shot your credibility, creditors won’t work with you again.
• View yourself as a victim, and become emotionally angry with creditors. Put yourself into their shoes and ponder how you’d act.

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER pay an obligation from whatever company account has money in it. NEVER NEVER NEVER.

Here’s how you DO raise cash and reduce obligations -

• Sell every piece of equipment you’re not using anymore
• If you have excess product or inventory, drop the price and close it out
• Vacate or close any office or other space you’re not using. I see clients who have four employees occupying enough space to house 75 employees, and clinging to that space. GET OUT!
• Look at telecomm, data and other consumable services to see if you can switch providers or plans to reduce your monthly outlay.
• Get in touch with old clients to “check in” and see how they’re doing
• If you have too much house in your primary residence, sell it with an eye toward having a fully paid for replacement primary with lower expenses

Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of this, hiring in an outside contractor to help you with communication and identifying these steps can take you off of the hook for these decisions, and speed up the adjustment.

I’ve seen it many times – a company is losing money hand over fist and they cannot for the life of them understand why.

Someone’s stealing the money.

I’ve seen a husband stealing to support a drug habit or a mistress that his wife knew nothing about.

I’ve seen a trusted manager who created false vendors, sold inventory to competitors and rang up refunds on a different register tape.

I’ve seen with my own eyes a department store employee’s car loaded to the roof in the hatch area with vacuum cleaners in boxes, ready to sell to her friends.

I’ve seen a guy at the drive-through at the bank, cashing a check he stole from the back of the owner’s business checkbook.

In none of these cases were the “authorities” willing to bring charges. None of the money was ever recovered.

If your business seems to be inexplicably losing money – I’d check for signs of theft before I’d look anywhere else.

So, you’re behind on your mortgage. I’ve been there. Maybe you’ve even been posted for foreclosure. I’ve been there too.

Here are your options, plain and simple:

1. Surrender the house. Get a new place to live you can afford. Screw the credit. Start over, life will be far better in just a few months.
2. Contact the lender and do a workout in which you pay what you can now, and re-schedule the remaining payments. There are risks to this, specifically a.) you already can’t afford the place, and b.) if you get behind again, you’ll find the problem has gotten worse, not better.
3. File for Chapter 13, which is just like doing a workout, except it costs about $4000 more in fees and attorney costs, and requires you relinquish control over your own finances.
4. Fight back. There is no guarantee that this will work, but it might.

The rest of this blog is all about fighting back and how to do it.

Important safety note: I am not a lawyer, nor am I your (not a) lawyer. Most lawyers and most family, friends and co-workers would tell you that this is a dangerous and bad row to hoe. I do not make any suggestion or representation that this process will do anything but insure that the proceedings the lender follows in foreclosing are lawful and correct.

That having been said, check out this video from YouTube, taken from a news report:

Man takes on bank and wins

“Ooooh!” you say. How can I do that?

Keep reading, dear one.

Especially with certain lenders (BofA, Wells) there is a high likelihood that your mortgage has passed through MERS. This, in my judgment and in the judgment of an increasing number of courts, means your lender cannot prove WHO owns your mortgage. If they can’t prove it, they can’t foreclose.

Google up some MERS if you’re curious about why that’s so.

Next, in your research process, check out this article. Hey, doesn’t that advice look awfully familiar? Yeah, it does.

Oh, now back to this “RESPA” letter that the weird dude in the vampire costume was talking about on “Fox and Friends”. That’s got to be a scam, right?

Nope.

Didja click and read that? Yes, that’s on a US Government website. Kind of officially official.

RESPA, and how little its understood and enforced, will be the subject of the next SERIES of “getting back at the bank” posts.

Back to your mortgage.

IMPORTANT NOTE – what follows works BEST when you’re not delinquent, posted for foreclosure or otherwise not in good standing with your mortgage.

My very dear, charming and gorgeous friend (who’s the smartest gal in the mortgage business) makes the bare statement that there is NO mortgage loan that is entirely free of RESPA errors. Most are LITTERED with these errors.

Combine these errors with MERS issues, and you create a strong foundation from which to re-negotiate your mortgage loan.

Here is someone else’s 17 page RESPA letter to a mortgage servicer.

This letter contains the laundry list of things that the mortgage servicer could be doing wrongly. Follow it as a template. Put your own information into the appropriate spots. Send it to the mortgage servicer, the addressees at the bottom of the letter and to the attorney who’s handling the foreclosure. Send it by Priority Mail, with delivery receipt. Keep the proof of when they got it.

Within twenty days of the date they accepted your letter, the mortgage servicer MUST respond to you that they have your letter. Within sixty days of the date they accepted it, they MUST answer the questions fully.

If they do not, and if you then pursue a “private action” to enforce RESPA (requires a lawyer) you could find yourself interviewed on Fox and Friends.

More to come!

Just two weeks before your corporation tax returns are due – still another nearly fifty days before personal returns are due.